Mr. and Miss Perfectionist

Assalamualaikum wbt

Haiya stalker..

Ok kids, entry kali ni entry orang request but since it is also a good knowledge, I hope you learn something.

So what does Perfectionist means?? Perfectionists are people who are very very obsessed with perfection; they expect things to be complete and flawless. Perfectionists usually will strive so hard to achieve the standard they put on things. I give you an example, a perfectionist usually spend copious amount of time doing a task (selagi tak mencapai standard yang diingini, they won't be satisfied). Sometimes they also expect people around them to be perfect and they get angry when they are not, they hate mistakes and won't allow themselves to make mistakes, they love things in orders and they become stressed when things got messed up, become overly defensive when criticized, overly depressed when experienced failure, and etc etc. Ummi tak cakap being a perfectionist is a bad thing because in fact it is a very very good thing, but, at some level, it can be harmful to you.

OCD(Obseesive Compulsive Disorder)

Perfectionism is a form of OCD. Ummi kasi contoh org yang suffer OCD, they will flush the toilet few times, or lepas die lock pintu die akan cuba untuk lock pintu one more time, suka simpan barang lama sebab takut nak buang maybe die rasa mana tahu one day nak guna benda tu sampai rumah become a store and etc etc.

In Malay, we called OCD as penyakit was-was. Ummi also used to suffer from OCD. I used to repeat my wudu' and prayers until I thought I had it perfect and one day, arwah tokwan realized what I always did and he said "You know what, that is syaitan waswas, next time you wanna make wudu say A'uzubillahiminassyaitanirrajim and recite surah An-Nas before praying"

Resolving waswas issues

1. Ignore syaitan's whispers
Syaitan menggunakan macam-macam cara untuk menggangu manusia dan menimbulkan keraguan adalah salah satunya. Tujuannya, syaitan mahu kita ragu-ragu terhadap diri kita.

And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in Allah . Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.[41:36]


2. Self-confidence
Ini sangat penting.Kalau tak yakin dengan diri, syaitan senang menghasut kita. Some of the ways to build self confidence are by:
-putting trust in God
-develop your skills
-set goals and try to achieve it
-seek righteous companions
-learn from mistakes

3.Make dua
Some of the duas we can make:
-Recite   ,أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم
-ayat kursi, surah 4 Qul morning and evening, ayatul Qursi
-Recite وَقُلْ رَبِّ أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ هَمَزَاتِ الشَّيَاطِينِ * وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ رَبِّ أَنْ يَحْضُرُونِ
O my Lord ! I seek refuge with you from the suggestions of the Evil Ones. And I seek refuge with You, O my Lord!, lest they should come near me."
[Al-Qur'an 23:97-98]


When perfect isn't good enough

Sometimes,perfectionists expect too much from themselves that they think whatever they do are never good enough.This is a very big issue because as a human we have our own limit and forcing ourselves above our limit can cost health and mental problems. Also, we have to remember people around us are different and try to accept them for who they are.

One thing a perfectionist can do is to aim not for perfection but for excellence just like the concept Ihsan we have in Islam.

Abu Ya’la Shaddad ibn Aus, radiyallahu ‘anhu, reported that the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu ‘alayhi wasallam, said:
Verily, Allah has enjoined excellence (ihsan) with regard to everything. So, when you kill, kill in a good way; when you slaughter, slaughter in a good way; so everyone of you should sharpen his knife, and let the slaughtered animal die comfortably.”
[Riwayah Muslim]

So how can we achieve excellence?? We need to set standard that we can reach, enjoy every single things we do, be grateful with the outcome, react positively to criticism, and learn from mistakes and failure.

...

When Ummi decided to write this blog, actually I just wanna tell you kids that I'm just like you. I'm not perfect and I don't expect you to be one. It is fine to make mistakes in our lives but what makes smart and dumb people differ is smart people learn from their mistakes to make them a better person and dumb people will keep doing the same mistakes again and again. Don't be afraid if you see other people are much much much better than you because you can also become one of them as long as you are willing to learn.

Ok that's all. I love you kids =)

*Fuh...hope this is good. Kalau laptop Ummi tak merajuk Ummi da sambung menulis.